{ a perpetual goodwill and beautiful thinking }

I Never Said I Wasn't Difficult

I hate being difficult. It's like when you want a thing to go on a certain way, you want it the other way. This is a poem by Sara Holbrook that I read back then in my eight grade, so far from today's confusion and uncertainty in life. The poem suddenly came back on the surface after being super tired working on some things and... Too much expectations and over-thinking.

But don't worry. I'll be super okay. I mostly work the things up all by myself. Maybe.


I never said I wasn't difficult, 
I mostly want it my way.
Sometimes I talk back or pout, 
And don't have much to say.
I've been known to yell 'so what'
When I'm stepping out of bounds, 
I want you there for me
Yet, I don't want you around.
I wish i had more privacy, 
And never had to be alone.
I want to run away
But i'm afraid to leave my home.
I'm too tired to be responsible
But I wish I were the boss, 
I want to blaze new trials
Im terrified to get lossed.
I wish an answer would come everytime I asked you 'why'
I wish you were'nt a know it all 
Why do you question me when I'm bored? 
I don't want to be crossed examined, 
I hate to be ignored.
I know I shuffle messages like cards, 
Some to show and some to hide, 
but if you think I'm hard to live, 
you should try me on the inside. 

- Sara Holbrook